questions to ask when you don't know what to say

If you had unlimited money to start your own business, what would it be? For example, if you’ve exhausted the current topic, you can always jump back to something you’ve talked about earlier. What band is it?”. They reply, “I went to Paris with my friends last weekend. I’d feel like people were judging me for “failing at having a good conversation” whenever I’d say something “stupid.” Sure, people do judge us based on what we say, as well as how we say it. No guide can tell you how to always know what to say in every type of difficult conversation. Just say: Same goes for the unconventional-for-a-reason q's, a.k.a. Before diving into the list, it is important to note that not all conversation questions are alike. 71. Being quiet is a normal personality trait, and there’s no need to force yourself to be more outgoing. Take this quiz and get a custom report based on your unique personality and goals. What's the silliest argument you've ever been in? Let her know that you are always there for her in every good and bad by setting up these cute things to say to your girlfriend. 183. For example, let’s say that you have a friend who works for an architecture firm. What qualities do you look for in a boss? Questions can help deepen any relationship, but you should never have to ask these ones if you're in a healthy relationship: 22. Do you have a favorite holiday? ), Tamekis Williams, LCSW, founder of Mission Dorothy Female Empowerment Services, adds that you want to ask open-ended questions that will allow the other person to elaborate, instead of questions that can be answered with a simple "yes" or "no. Here’s an exercise you can do right now: Look around you. 61). How do you feel about family events? 59. 102. Even seemingly mundane questions can get at a person’s values—like what’s motivating them to do well on a presentation or what they look for in an S.O. Which buildings should I make time to see?”, Use "conversational threading" to avoid awkward silence, Learn a proven technique to get past empty small talk. You can solve your own problems. 72. Do you sleep with a top sheet? How do you pick yourself back up after making a mistake at work? Don’t feel like you’re being stupid or annoying, and keep asking until you understand. 58. Do you go diving a lot, or was it a new experience?”, Them: “It was kind of a new experience, but also not.”, Them: “Yeah well, I mean I did try diving once a long time ago, but it hardly counted because I only spent 10 minutes in the water. 198. What you can ask: 121. If you could own a mythical creature (unicorn, phoenix, etc. Here are 9 random questions to ask a new friend: 123. 60. Select questions that require more than a one word answer. That said, you can't just ask, "What are your values?". ", After all, if you really want to get to know someone beyond the surface level, you’ve got to dig deeper. “I don’t know what to say in conversations because I get so worried about what the other person is thinking of me. One of my favorite methods to know what to say is Conversational Threading. Do you believe in astrology? What’s the best piece of advice a family member has given you? So let’s give you a scenario. Are you looking forward to retiring, or do you plan to work as long as possible? Even if you did get a letter, it would be generic. Make eye-to-eye contact with the scientist the whole time. What was it like growing up as the youngest/oldest/middle/only child? Mental well-being Annoying. If you have children, how do you want to raise them? 3. Do you and your family have any nicknames for each other? 176. Do you agree with the saying: if you can't handle the answer. It’s OK to say, “I just need a moment to process that” if their news is particularly shocking. ), which one would you pick? The IFR method is all about finding that balance. If possible, do a pre-interview off-camera. What energizes you about your career? 80. 24. 93. Questions about close relationships can lead to stories, and sharing stories leads to connection. 188. What is your definition of success? Have you EVER judged someone for saying something too simple? Social skills If you could change your relationship with a family member, would you? If so, what and why? Every day, remind yourself that everyone gets nervous. But how do you start a conversation? 144. What was your favorite age growing up? 17 Questions To Ask Your S.O. Do you think iced coffee should only be consumed in the summer or all year round? What’s the best career decision you’ve ever made? Ask open ended questions. Being a self-conscious introvert, I would often exaggerate and overdramatize social situations in my head. Listen respectfully, and don’t press questions. 105. Time to see how much of a free spirit they are. Don't worry: Asking for clarification is easy. Either way, it’s time to pull out some get-to-know-you questions. 28. A silence isn’t awkward until you start stressing out about it. If you could time travel, when and where would you go? 115. Re-word the answer if you don’t understand it: “In other words, … Do you wish you had more siblings? 131. 107. First of all: If you’re wondering, “Is it normal to have nothing to talk about?” the answer is “YES!” I used to have similar worries, and I believed there was something wrong with me. This article, “5 Questions to Ask When You Don't Know What to Do With Your Life,” originally appeared on Greatist. If you had the opportunity to be immortal, would you take it? 132. 170. If you find yourself thinking, “I don’t know what to say” after you’ve asked someone a question, follow up on what you just asked. 73. Jasmine Gomez is the editorial assistant at Women’s Health and covers health, fitness, sex, culture and cool products. 165. Have you ever had a side hustle or considered having one? What do they dream and think about in their day?" When you’re thinking of questions to ask a new friend, it can be easy to get pressured because you want to make sure to ask them the right questions. I’ve always been uncomfortable talking to people I don’t know well. Leading media outlets such as TIME Magazine, The Chicago Tribune, The Hill, MSN, WebMD, and 100+ more rely on SocialPro’s expertise in psychology. What's the worst argument you've ever been in? Make sure your body language matches your words. If you could do anything, besides what you're doing now, what would you do? Ask these ~unconventional~ questions, and you'll definitely get some interesting (in a good way!) [1], (It’s hard, especially in the beginning, but gets surprisingly easy with some practice. 48. That can be so tough! For A Tight AF Bond, How Maren Morris Got In The Best Shape Of Her Life, This content is created and maintained by a third party, and imported onto this page to help users provide their email addresses. 184. It’s important that you share an equal amount of information about yourself. (Make sure you share something about yourself in between the questions so that the other person doesn’t think you’re a spy.). Why or why not? Sometimes people just want to feel heard. He’s also a member of Mensa with an IQ of 145. They have invited you to dinner, along with two of their architect colleagues who you have never met before. And then, there's those other relationships that take a little more work—i.e., how it feels like pulling teeth to learn anything about your brother-in-law. What song always gets you out on the dance floor? It’s always better to ask questions and do things right, than it is to do it wrong and have to do it over again. What’s your favorite thing about your current job? Which meal is your favorite: breakfast, lunch, or dinner? Did you ever hide anything from or lie to your parents? 138. After that you go blank then you are DOOMED!! Here’s how the conversation went: Inquire: What kind of documentaries do you make? 96. If you don’t know what to say when you’ve related to someone’s answer, inquire about what you’ve just said. It was great!”. ), Participants who focused on the conversation rather than themselves felt less anxious. 88. Sometimes the oddball questions allow you to learn the most interesting things about a person. Do you live by any piece of advice or motto? Choose one of these cute questions to ask a girl, and you can even melt her heart. Be careful not to flood the other person with questions. David Morin is the founder of SocialPro. And don’t forget to ask follow up questions! It’s hard for me to keep a conversation flowing without feeling as though I’m interrogating the other person.”. You are an intelligent, resourceful and insightful person. “What’s it like to work as a golf trainer?”, “What made you decide to be a golf trainer in the first place?”, “It sounds like you’ve been through a terrible time.”, “I’m so sorry. 128. But you still want to keep things PG, says Williams. It's easy to tell when a question is coming from a good place. “If you don't understand, ask questions. What do you do on your commute to/from work? Personal development 175. Jumpstart a deep conversation by asking this: 151. 109. Would you rather make more money doing a job you hate or less doing one you love? Here’s a video that explains conversational threading with a real-world conversation: Often, I didn’t know what to say because: My friend, a coach and behavioral scientist, made me realize something powerful: Silence is not necessarily awkward. Does your job make you feel happy and fulfilled? People who went through training aimed at changing the way they talked to themselves started believing more in themselves.[3]. It turns out that the tech-savvy PhD was in a job that required her to represent the department in senior-level executive meetings where it had been deemed acceptable—even encouraged—to inter… It feels really awkward and embarrassing. Has your family ever pressured you to act a certain way? 194. What do I say to open a conversation?”. ", Sign up for WH Stronger for unlimited site access and more, Btw, that's a two-way street, adds Williams. How do you talk when you have nothing to say?”. This acronym is useful because these topics are relevant to everyone. We don’t want to constantly ask questions, nor do we want to constantly talk about ourselves. Don’t get caught up in thinking of questions and just let it go. Do you think you’ll stay in your current gig awhile? Naturally, you would take a break between questions to share something about yourself. See how you can go "from boring to bonding" in less than 7 words. 155. 139. 164. You know that asking questions about the topic would lead to a conversation that involves sharing feelings or opinions. The other person keeps subtly steering the conversation back to the topic. Women's Health may earn commission from the links on this page, but we only feature products we believe in. 104. Who in your family would you describe as a "character"? In reality, most conversations contain some silences or long pauses. Do you believe in having a "five-year plan"? The conversation would benefit from a silent moment in which you can both breathe before carrying on. ), These questions are open, meaning that they encourage the other person to give a more in-depth answer than “Yes” or “No.”. answers: 161. Don’t Ask About Medical Transition. What was the first thing you wanted to be when you grew up? 181. If you're uncomfortable about asking questions, say you are uncomfortable about asking questions and then ask anyway. It takes the pressure off you and makes knowing what to say easier. Follow up: Oh, interesting. anything related to another person's finances, but especially questions about child support, debt, and credit score. Would you rather have your dishes or clothes be magically clean? But if someone hasn’t brought it up, please don’t bring it up yourself. “Why don’t I know what to say after someone replies to my questions? "These questions also typically get the other person to think outside box and really ponder something.". Did you ever get to meet your great-grandparents? 112. LESSON LEARNED: When you stop trying to say smart things, it’s easier to know what to say because you take the pressure off yourself. Ever come across someone who constantly asks questions? What personality traits do you share with your relatives? "These questions get at what the person is motivated by," says Orbuch. To really get to know someone new, move past the small talk and ask these 200 questions instead. What are you most proud of in the last year? Even if someone is giving you very short, minimal answers, there’s a quick trick you can use to keep the conversation alive. What's the most ridiculous outfit you've ever worn? No, that’s stupid. Here’s a list of 50 questions you … If so, what happened? You don’t have to finish all in one sitting, take your time so the answers will be thoughtful. When people hang out with you, they usually want to have a good time. Maybe this guide we wrote can help you, on how to keep the conversation going: https://socialpronow.com/blog/the-5-best-ways-to-keep-a-conversation-going/. Scientifically reviewed by Viktor Sander B.Sc., B.A. 195. Choose the appropriate time to ask these questions. Terri Orbuch, PhD, author of 5 Simple Steps to Take Your Marriage from Good to Great, says getting to know someone starts with the "breadth questions"—think: impersonal but important biographical info about a person's family, their career, and if they’re single or married, for example. He's been writing about social skills since 2012. 114. 156. ), which would you want? Use them when a topic dies out. For example, if someone tells you that a close relative has died, you could say: If you know the other person well, you can add, “I’m here to listen if you want to talk.”. Digging deeper also helps you uncover commonalities. 197. Children ask lots of questions, but now it’s time to turn the tables. Remind yourself that people care as little about your hiccups as you care about theirs. Even if someone doesn’t have a job or hobbies, you can ask them what they’d like to do. Many times you find yourself in odd situations wherein you meet a new person and you don't really know what to say to them or how to start a conversation. 149. Here it is: Relate: Share something about yourself that relates to what the other person just said. 69. When you learn about someone’s dreams, you share something more intimate. What’s the first thing you look for in a partner and/or friend? Sometimes, you meet someone, and you just click. 53. With a little patience, you'll become way closer with the person you're just getting to know in no time. Don’t be afraid to move beyond surface-level questions. 52. 101. What was the best vacation you ever took and why? (Although if you're asking these q's of your BIL... you should probably definitely know the answer to that last one. 46. What was the last TV show you binge-watched? Follow the steps outlined above. 100. And if there is so much to the story and they don’t know where to start, you can say, “Sometimes it’s pretty hard to talk about things. May 7. Free shipping for many products! 23. 116. I used to think that periods of silence in a conversation was always my fault and that I had to “fix it” somehow. 182. Whether you're dating a girl for the first time or you've known her for ages, it's always a good idea to think about cute questions to ask a girl. When he talks to people, he says things like: He doesn’t come off as smart for saying smart things, but for being socially savvy. 199. 54. 180. 70. The one next to where I live has a cat who always sits on the counter. Relate: Share something about yourself that relates to what the other person just said. What can you see? "Be careful with asking questions of a sexual nature too early," she advises. 14. 106. If you could relive one moment in your life, which would it be? 118. Good questions to ask. 19. 89. (You can say smart things when they naturally pop into your head, but you don’t need to force them.). If so, with whom? Another thing you can do to come up with things to say is to stop trying to come up with conversation topics. We tend to interpret that silence as a negative sign, but it doesn’t mean the conversation is going badly. If so, why? If you attempt to sound smart all the time, they may think you are a try-hard or simply annoying. Rather than assuming the worst, use the moment to catch your breath and move forward from there. 35. And if they say they don’t like living in cities, you can ask what kind of countryside or town they would like to live in. "Sharing personal information strengthens any relationship, and deeper questions focus on that personal self-disclosure. Ideally, how would you spend your birthday? 166. This leads me to the next tip. Don't worry: Asking for clarification is easy. Introversion & Extraversion. I’ve never been there. Notify me when someone responds to my comment. Also, don’t discuss pay until they’ve shown you a job offer, say Lees. 53 Great Questions To Get To Know Someone. If you came back in your next life as an animal, what animal would you be? 2. How you respond to an interview question that completely stumps you is much more important than being able to give an answer, so you’re going to want to avoid freaking out at all costs. 4. 8. The other day, I was talking to someone who turned out to be a filmmaker. An ideal thing to do in such a scenario is to get to know that person better; the easiest way to do that is to ask questions. More articles from Greatist.com: The 7 Questions … If you had only one sense (hearing, touch, sight, etc. Reread her reply above and see if you can come up with even more questions. One of you is having an off day and doesn’t feel like talking much, which is okay! 43. these deep questions. Questions are an important part of conversation. What's the weirdest thing you do when you're alone? 33. 9. How do you separate your work life from your home life? Women's Health participates in various affiliate marketing programs, which means we may get paid commissions on editorially chosen products purchased through our links to retailer sites. Relate: Haha, I’ve noticed that. 51. Do you think you'll likely accomplish all your dreams? 113. Changing your self-talk can make you more confident and believe more in yourself. How do you think of something to say when you’re in this situation?”, When therapists work with shy people, people with social anxiety, and others who completely lock up in conversations, they use a technique called Shift of Attentional Focus. That makes it hard to ask questions when you don't understand--especially when you're supposed to understand. Say what you want to say, and don’t filter yourself too much. 85. If you could have a super power, what would it be? Take a deep breath and don’t panic. and "What is your faith or spiritual belief?". What do you remember most about your first job? Do you wash your legs in the shower? When was the last time you climbed a tree just for fun? 108. By listening carefully! The important thing here is to go deeper by asking follow-up questions. If not, do you want one? So let down your guard, and don't be afraid to ask (and answer!) 66. 5 Simple Steps to Take Your Marriage from Good to Great, Mission Dorothy Female Empowerment Services, change your relationship with a family member, famous person in history would you want to spend the day with, Relationship Questions To Get To Know Your Partner. (See my guide on how to start a conversation for more opening lines and advice on how to have more to say when chatting to new people. How do you know when to dig in? in both casual and formal situations! 125. 39. 40. Do you ever wish you were raised differently? What to do when you don’t know. 38. 82. Who do you most like spending time with and why? Just say: What’s your favorite quote from a TV show/movie/book? Were you close with your family growing up? You may be able to find more information about this and similar content at piano.io. I’ve had too many people ask me questions, then jump down my throat and/or attack me for the answer. What's the most important holiday you spend with your family and why? Here are 63 fun “get-to know-you” questions for kids to get a conversation started. You need to think about this, and tailor THE IDEA of asking a question rather than saying something to YOUR situation. And then I inquired again, repeating the IFR sequence: Try to make the conversation go back and forth like that. What about you, do you love where you live?'". "Unusual questions allow you to see the varied, unique, and special qualities of a person—their answers give you personal information about what makes them tick," Orbuch says. Of course, if you’re already feeling nervous, it might not be so easy to just “relax and stop worrying about it.” But there’s a trick that you can try. If you want to improve your social skills, self-confidence, and ability to connect with someone, you can take our 1-minute quiz. Thinking of questions and conversation topics in advance of a social occasion can make it much easier to know what to say. What's your least favorite place in the world? Break up the questions by sharing a little bit about yourself every now and then, as I described in the IFR method section. It’s alright to admit you don’t know, but offer to find out. 169. What’s the first thing you do in the morning? 55. 129. And make sure you don’t take up the interviewer’s time by asking too many! is SO OVERUSED! What's more important: family or friends? Have your ever disliked something and then changed your mind? Here it is: Inquire: Ask a sincere question. What makes you feel most accomplished? 111. They’re just that: skills. 157. Let’s REALLY focus on what she just said. When you started your current job, what most surprised you? If you could choose how to die, would you? Questions at the beginning of a conversation with a person you don’t know should be neutral and relatively easy to answer so that you can establish a basic level of comfort with one another. What would be the first thing you'd do if you won the lottery? It’s not only helpful for continuing your conversations but also makes them more dynamic. What can always bring your family together? 98. People DON’T want a constant stream of thought-provoking clever remarks. Follow on Twitter or read more. LESSON LEARNED: Practice being comfortable with silence rather than trying to eliminate it. Nov 28, 2018 - Questions to ask when you don't know what to say Do not make trivializing comments like “Everything happens for a reason,” because you will come across as insensitive. What’s your favorite way to spend a day off? You see, social skills aren’t something we’re born with. Try: 81. Making conversation Don’t fire them off all at once. You don’t have to fire off all these questions. What's your most controversial opinion about something mundane? What originally got you interested in your current field of work? 178. 146. It’s really hard to lose a loved one.”, “Who’s your biggest design inspiration?”, “What city do you think has the best architecture?”, “I’m taking a trip to Italy next year. I’ve also put a PDF and an image of all 350 good questions to ask at the bottom of the page. What's the best career advice you've ever heard? They say “you only get one chance to make a first impression.” Also, it only takes about seven seconds for a person to make a judgement call about who you are and whether they can trust you. 130. What TV family most reminds you of your own? How do you deal with arguments between family members? 122. 1. 110. Have you ever been to a family reunion? What physical traits do you share with your relatives? What would be the title of your memoir? SocialPro works together with psychologists and doctors to provide actionable, well-researched and accurate information that helps readers improve their social lives. (Just knowing they are there as a safety net makes me feel more relaxed.). Start improving your confidence, your conversation skills, or your ability to bond - in less than an hour. Know your questions in advance. 97. What’s a relationship deal breaker for you? 94. Or someone who NEVER asks questions? "What gives them the strength to wake up every day and get going? 196. Remember this: As two people get to know each other, they are more comfortable sharing moments of silence. I’m guessing not. 77. Who has had the biggest impact on your career choice? 36 What's your most prized possession and why? Why trust us? If you could go back to anytime in history, where would you go? That makes it hard to ask questions when you don't understand--especially when you're supposed to understand. I couldn’t come up with anything to say because I was nervous. 91. Try to be creative as you can and have fun with the questions. Here are some signs you should go beyond surface-level questions and dig more deeply: Let’s say that someone told you that they work as a golf trainer. What’s your idea of a perfect date (yes, of the calendar year)? Or, maybe you’ve been around for a while, but you’ve realized that you really don’t know all that much about the people you work with. 54 ‘The Crown’ Characters Vs. How They Looked IRL, The Best Heated Camping Gear For Your Next Trip, Chrissy Took Her First Shower Since Losing Jack, All ‘The Bachelor’ Season 25 Spoilers So Far, How Madelyn Cline, Chase Stokes Show Their Love, Princess Diana's Butler Talks 'The Crown'. What's one work-related thing you want to accomplish in the next year? If you could only teach one thing to your (future) child, what would it be? If You Don’t Know What Questions to Ask a New Leader, You’ll Hate Yourself Later. Which famous person in history would you want to spend the day with? You can then choose which questions would be most suitable for the conversation. [2], Say that you ask someone how their week was. That’s the worst thing you can do - they might ask you more questions! “What exactly do you do at your job?”, “What do you want to be doing in 5 years?”. 126. Talking about what you have in common will make the conversation more enjoyable for both of you. Listening without disagreement will encourage your partner to express themselves. "Commonalities often open the door for further conversation and, once that door is open, you can start a dialogue that allows the other person to elaborate and not give close-ended answers," Williams adds. Shift the conversation over to the other person by asking sincere questions. Try this: Simply repeat the last part of their response using an inquisitive tone of voice. Improving your confidence It feels like everyone else is so much more socially skilled than me.”. I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO SAY!”. What happened was…”, The great thing about this method is that you don’t even have to think of a new question. 13 Juicy Questions Men Are Dying to Ask Women, 10 Sassy Ways to Respond When Someone Asks, ‘Why Aren’t You Pregnant Yet?’. 78. 20. Would you rather someone be honest and hurt your feelings or lie to protect them? 'How are you?' While you might never be BFFs with your BIL, there is a trick you can use to get him to open up a little more. Additionally, when it’s a patient asking you something that’s over your head don’t pretend to know. If you could have any exotic animal as a pet, which would it be? 150. Instantly beat self-consciousness with the "OFC-method". You don’t know the next step in a challenge, in a personal or professional struggle? If you could live anywhere in the world, where would it be? Would love to hear which of your questions resulted in the most unexpected, honest, mind-opening, and interesting stories. If you could change anything about yourself, would you? Looking around my workplace right now, I can see a bunch of stuff that could inspire statements, which in turn could start a conversation. 119. Who's the newest member of your family? This keeps the conversations going, and as it moves forward, you can throw in small facts about yourself that you feel comfortable sharing. You feel like you've been besties your entire life and honestly can't believe there was a time when you didn't even know they existed. The questions are organ In this book, the authors explain why they call "the magic of questions" and then provide examples of "555 powerful questions to use for getting your way at work.

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